|Here are some friends at the Wisconsin-Ohio St. game|
"Key Shop, this is Kevin."
"Hey good morning! How are ya? *silence* Yeah, so anyway, I'm a new nurse over here in the children's clinics and the office key I was issued is on a giant key ring that I can't seem to remove."
"Well what's the number on the key?"
"A 24? Why do you have a 24 key?"
"Well, it's what they gave me and it opens my office door."
"You shouldn't have a 24 key. Are you with housekeeping?"
"We're going to need you to turn that key in and get a new one."
|Here are Chip and his friends at the Wisconsin-Ohio St. game|
The key shop is not only in the bowels of the hospital but I'd go so far as to say it's in the rectum. Traveled to only by an elevator requiring keyed entry that goes to the shallow mantle of the earth's crust. Luckily, lots of guys in blue shirts with their names sewn on patches on their pockets use the elevator and take great care to escort and protect a princess along her journey from the dragons or pirates or who knows really what lurks below. And I don't think they get to see a whole lot of women during the day in this particular part of the hospital. I got more than a few second looks of a curious nature, not so common or comfortable for a woman of a certain age. I do believe if there had been a puddle along the way, one of the nice men would have thrown a drop cloth over it for me to cross. However, sexual assault also briefly crossed my mind.
|Yesterday I went to see Donna Shalala speak at the Union Theater next to the Red Gym. Donna is also at the game probably sitting with Barry Alvarez. I'm home blogging. Am I making good choices?|
NO no, just kidding. After a journey akin to several weeks of a good Prince Valiant storyline I reached the key shop, ironically secured by a keyless numbered entry pad on the door. Argus Filch looked up from his workbench.
"Hi. I called earlier to have my key replaced. Are you Kevin?"
"Okay, well, I'm turning this key in because it's stuck on this ridiculously large key ring."
"I think Kevin was supposed to make me a new key."
"Hmm....I don't see it."
"Okay...well, I'm going to need to take the key back then because it's my only key."
"Okay, here you go."
"So, I'm stuck with this giant key ring, huh?"
"Oh, you don't want the key ring?"
SMASH SMASH SMASH. Three mallet hits and the key ring broke apart. He wordlessly returned the key to my hand.
"Well thanks, that was easy. I guess I could have just run over it with my car. Ha ha ha"
*third and final pregnant pause*
"Yeah, so is it okay for me to keep this key? Kevin seemed to have a problem with it having a 24 on it."
"Does it work ok?"
"Then you should take it because you're going to need it to get in your office."
Alrighty then. What doors await!