Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Toronto weekend with body scan please

We secreted out of the country this weekend for a wedding in Toronto, leaving our kids alone as one does.   I didn't exactly spread this information around in the week leading up to our departure because I had a little bit of worry and guilt boarding a plane with my passport while my kids were still asleep in their beds.  But they are good and responsible kids who didn't really get out of their pajamas all weekend.  Instead of moping or getting up to no good, they used their benign lockdown to get a lot of homework done, the DVR cleaned out, their rooms picked up and to invent a grilled turkey and provolone sandwich that was apparently delicious.  Olivia being one week from her 18th birthday, we felt confident that our 36 hour trip was a ticketable offense at best.

That's a relief piece of art hanging on the side of the building giving the illusion of
fabric and paint at the same time.   Just wonderful.

Or should I say offence?   

Toronto is a city in Canada.  And that's all I got.  I had lunch, dinner and breakfast there, plus some nachos when our return flight was cancelled and rescheduled three hours later.   We were there for one purpose only, a free meal with open bar.  

But it's the getting there that makes it interesting.  For a more hilarious account of the new TSA fondling sequence and a more sobering take on the reasoning behind it, read the two links below. 

First the funny:
Then, the not so funny:

Chip and I opted out of the body splatter or scatter, rather, just to see what it was like to go through the  heightened pat down.  I'm in health care and he's a researcher. We could easily take a pat down.  Do your worst, TSA.  And actually I had my mammogram last week so I thought maybe it would be wise to wait at least a few weeks to irradiate myself again.  I simply asked to go through the metal detector and did so without anybody touching me. Clearly I don't look like a terrorist.  But Chip and his wild eyebrows...when he requested to go through the metal detector, the guy yelled "MALE OPT OUT!"  If you read the link above you will understand when I tell you that the TSA guy moved in like a doctor and did meet resistance on my husband.  The picture below is confusing in that it appears Chip was enjoying the opt out.

He really is a people person.
In all seriousness, he would not opt out again.  I'll let him weigh in in the comments section about anything I've got inaccurate or incomplete.  His reaction was mixed and I'll put words in his mouth, "wow that was thorough and yet the sad thing is it's still not effective enough because I could have hidden something in my ass and they aren't willing to look there."  He would never actually say that  because he's a classy guy, but he said as much to his unclassy wife who paraphrased it for him.  He described his experience as no "patting" whatsoever since the guy's hands never left his body.  I believe his words were, "It was more of a caress."   

Part 2, the wedding!  I need another day to cull the herd of pictures.  A cute flowergirl to start. 

flower girl and ringbearer


  1. Matthew and I enjoyed this play-by-play immensely.
    As always - thanks for sharing.
    With Love.

  2. Julie...You are the BEST writer!! Jim and I both had a laugh when we read your description of his Chip's "opt out/pat down" experience!! :0)

  3. Chris & I also both enjoyed immensely. Thinking I won't enjoy it immensely on Friday. 8/